Attracting a specific lover back when I know he loves me.
Question: I've dated this man for a couple of years. I had a great time, felt loved, respected, desired etc., and I felt that same for him.
Then, out of the blue (for me) he sort of ended it - became distant. This was very confusing for me. I found out he suffers deep depression at certain times of the year (SADD? I assume).
He sort of re-establishes our relationship on and off. I found out he dates random women he meets on the internet (he doesn't know i know this - a dear friend of his told me!!!) and whenever he feels like it, he calls me. He said he loves and cares for me (as a friend) and would like to just keep it that way.
As much as that crushed me, we agreed to be friends (he says I am his best friend) and no sex. He says he just doesn't have the romantic/sex feeling towards me anymore, and that he is searching for the "one" and I am not it. We do a lot together: travel, I stay at his place for days, we go out, movies, parties, see friends (as a couple?? - they think we are a romantic couple), cook together, text and talk frequently, we even sleep in the same bed .... no sex).
I know in my heart that we were meant to be together in an exclusive, committed, romantic relationship - but he is afraid of committment!!!!!! He has had bad relationships in the past and is afraid, and doesn't want to hurt me so keeps me at arms length.
He is not a talker, very shy, introverted, non-confrontational and will avoid discussing this every time.
I love him and don't know what to do?????
Real Life LoA Answer: This question was actually written a couple of years ago, but the situation is still very real for many, many, many people, because I keep getting asked variations of it.... So, here is the answer (even if the original poster has moved on, hopefully?!)
Unfortunately, the Universe and the Law of Attraction just does not work this way. If this man is telling you that he does not have romantic or sexual feelings for you -- believe him!
And, to make matters worse, as long as you are focused on this guy, your REAL partner -- the REAL man of your dreams -- cannot find you (because you are energetically unavailable.)
You need to stop wasting your time, energy and attention on someone who is just using your love and affection for his own selfish reasons. He is not doing anything wrong, you're just letting him walk all over you. It's up to YOU to make a new choice for yourself.
It's up to YOU to create a life for yourself that is happy and busy, happy and busy, happy and busy, and happy and busy -- without him! ...Only then will you be giving off the loving vibrational energy that WILL attract the real man of your dreams!
They aren't about the Law of Attraction, but I recommend that you read these three books as soon as possible:
"He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt
"Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov
"Loving What Is" by Byron Katie
The last one is probably the most important, because with the tools and wisdom in that book you can get over the habit of trying to argue with the reality of life, and start to move on.
I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to hear (which is maybe why I waited so long to write the answer after you submitted the question) but it's reality. To quote Byron Katie: How do I know it's reality? Because it is what has happened.
Like I said at the beginning of the answer, I hope you have already moved on and found the REAL person who truly is the partner of your dreams. But, for anyone else who is reading this, take heart, YOU DESERVE SO SO SO SO SO MUCH MORE than being someone's play toy.
Sending you love, hugs, and good wishes for finding your own center and the love of your life!
